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Submission:
The Bible Way Text: Psalm 119:130 |
Dear Reader,
I welcome you to another glorious time in the Word of God. This month, Mommy
is bringing to you submission in the Bible way. She shall be discussing on
submission as a commandment from God.
What is Sub\mission?
Submission as defined by the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary is the
willingness to show obedience or yield to the authority of others. It is
important for you to know that in God’s divine order, God commanded the
woman to submit to her own husband. Submission in the Bible way from a wife
to her husband is a necessary requirement for a successful marriage. The
Word of God says, Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto
the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). From the Word of God, we understand that His
commandments are not grievous. If you care to obey the commandment of God in
your life, you will remain in command. By the instrument of submission, many
women have won their husbands to the Lord and several have kept their homes
apart by disobedience to the commandment of God. You shall not fail in
Jesus’ name!
Single ladies, before you agree to marry any man, ensure that you are ready
to willingly put yourself under his authority, else that home will not be
successful. Married ladies, don't wait for your husband to carry out his own
covenant obligation before you submit to him. You must have to make sure
that, it is willingness on your part to do so. Willingly put yourself under
your husband's authority. Paul communicates the mind of God concerning
submission saying: “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the
husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church:
and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto
Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing” (Ephesians
5:21-24).
There are some key things you must understand about submission from the above scripture. Submission has four major components: humility, obedience, respect and love. Pride hinders so many women from submitting. But pride is destructive, it must not be haboured (1 Peter 5:5). Also obedience and respect are principal requirements in submission, because a husband you cannot obey and respect, you cannot claim to be submissive to. Remember your husband needs to be loved. Learn to keep showering your love on him (Titus 2:4). That way, you make your home successful.
God commanded the man to love his wife, and the woman to submit to his authority. It is something every wife must do. Failure to embrace submission as a commandment from God has brought so much heartache into several homes. Ephesians 5:22 clearly equates obedience to one’s husband with obedience to the Lord. In fact, it says in the Living Bible translation that the wife should submit to the husband “in the same way”. That is, with the same reverence with which you would treat God, you are expected to treat your own spouse. This explains why Sarah submitted so much to Abraham and called him lord. Whosoever wants to keep her home from destruction must determine to keep this commandment.
As a woman, in case you have an unbelieving husband, if your submission to him is absolute, you will wake up one day to see the man ready and eager to follow you to church. It is very clear in the Scriptures that a woman does not need words to win her unsaved husband to Christ. But her actions will do the miracle. The Word of God says, Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives (1 Peter 3:1).
I want to show you some vital keys that will help you in
total submission to your husband.
It is first to God:
Before a woman can submit to her husband, she must first learn to submit to
God. As a woman, you must first of all submit to Christ, before you can
successfully submit to your husband. The Word of God says, Submitting
yourselves one to another in the fear of God (Ephesians 5:21) The Amplified
Bible put it this way, ..Out of reverence for Christ (the Messiah, the
Anointed One).
As a woman, if you have reverence for God and you submit to God in all areas
of your life, you can genuinely submit to your husbands. The degree to which
you yield yourself to the commandments of God will determine the degree to
which you will yield to your husband. The husband must also submit himself
to God, because it is the extent to which he submits to God that will
determine the degree to which his wife submits to him. When you are ready
and eager to obey God's commandment to submit to your husband, then you are
ready to eat the good of a successful home (Isaiah 1:19). A lack of
understanding of this truth is why many homes have crashed.
Submission is of the Heart:
Until submission takes root in your heart, it does not last. You may submit
for a short time but at the end of the day you go back to your former state.
If truly you are really submissive, it will flow from your heart. Women,
make your heart tender for the Word of God to have effect. Women who battle
with submission do so because God’s Word has not yet gained entrance into
their hearts. The state of your heart determines the words of your mouth;
rebellious thoughts lead to rebellious acts.
Submission can reflect in your thought, words and actions:
Submission can be reflected in your thoughts, actions and even in the words
you speak. As a woman, how do you address your husband? Some women talk to
their husbands rudely, using abusive words to address them. No, it is very
wrong! By your choice of words, you can drive your husband far from you or
closer. If you use your words correctly, you can bring yourself into favour
with your husband. I see you enjoying favour form your husband as from today
in Jesus’ name.
Look at this testimony:
"I have been married for over 12 years, but what I am enjoying now, I've
never enjoyed since I got married. I thank God for His Word to me through
you. You taught … and laid emphasis on wives being submissive to their
husbands in everything, just like the church submits to Christ. My
understanding opened and I told God,’Lord, from this day, I know that
obedience is the key’. And ever since that day I have been enjoying what all
my fasting, binding and all couldn't deliver to me. I thank God that now
it's like I am wedded anew. And just yesterday morning, to confirm God's
faithfulness in my home, my husband gave me a cheque for one hundred
thousand Naira, which I cashed this morning. I now enjoy peace, love and
harmony. Adebayo, L.
Therefore, submission must be in thought, word and
action. One key you can employ to help your thought life is to watch what
you spend your time reading and listening to, what you feed your eyes upon
and of course, the company you keep. You must purpose to separate from and
sever all links with people and books that teach values contrary to those in
the Word of God. Woman, think good about your husband. Wish him well in your
thoughts, for that is where submission excitingly begins!
We were told in the Scriptures, that Sarah obeyed her husband Abraham,
honouring him as head of the house. If you care to do the same, you will be
following of her steps like a good daughter and doing what is right; then
the blessings of God will come upon you. So, Sarah is a good example of a
covenant woman and we need to emulate her life style of obedience (Isaiah
51:2).
Obedience is doing what you are told to do. Always make sure you obey your
husband and do what your husband tells you to do; you have to be careful not
to do what is contrary to the scriptures. Note that the submission I am
talking about is not slavery, but submission in love. Submission has to be
done in love, not out of fear or threats. When it is rooted in love, it is
perfect and brings God’s presence down in your home. I see God’s presence
filling your home today!
Some women always give excuses why what they are asked to do will not work.
But that is not submission in practice. Obedience is one cheap way to win
your husband’s love.
However, wives are commanded especially, to submit to their own husbands in everything. Are you a wife that submits your body, but cannot submit your money? Do you submit in some aspects, but in the other areas, you have vowed never to obey your husband? This is not total submission, and it is not the will of God. As long as what he is asking you to do is not against the Word of God, you must learn to submit in everything, if you want to please God. Partial submission has no reward, but total obedience shall attract a full reward from God and your husband.
It is very important for you to know that the Word of God
is the final authority on everything for the church. Whatever the Word of
God says, we do in obedience. As a woman, God’s Word says, you must submit
in everything to your husband. By so doing, you make it easy for him to
fulfill his covenant responsibilities to you.
You have a duty as a woman to ensure that you fulfill your obedience in
everything, and if an injustice is done to you, God will be the judge.
Whether your husband is an unbeliever or not, as long as he does not tell
you to do things that are contrary to scriptures, you are to obey him in
everything.
What God did at creation clearly reflects the position of
the woman in the home. He took a rib from the side of the man to make the
woman. The Word of God says, And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall
upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh
instead thereof (Genesis 2:21).
When a woman allows her husband to fulfill his covenant role of headship,
she has automatically given him the room to play his messianic role over
her.
You need to submit your body to your husband. An understanding that your
body belongs to your husband and his to you will make it easy to yield your
body to him. For instance, you may not feel like making love with your
husband, but out of submission, you willingly do so if he so desires. Your
husband will have more respect for you and he can go out of his way to
please you. Don’t keep your body from your husband with the aim of punishing
him, it is not scriptural.
There is a need for you also when we are talking about the issue of
submission, to do things the way your husband would want you to do them.
Take for instance, in cooking, taking care of the home, etc. If your husband
doesn’t like a particular way you wear your hair, makeup or clothes, please
be submissive enough to change it. You owe it to your husband to dress in a
way that is pleasing to him and to cook the type of food he likes, rather
than say, “That is not how I learnt to cook”! You need to cater for the home
in a way that will make him happy. If as a wife you please your husband, God
will make your life pleasant.
You also need to submit to your husband in the area of finance. Submission
covers all area of your life even in finances. As husband and wife, two must
become one in this area as well. Don’t hide your money from him. Giving him
your body, but hiding your money from him makes you a harlot.
Submission covers your finances too. It is likened to prostitution if you submit your body to a man but cannot submit your money to him. It is the love of money that makes husband and wife hide money from each other. Ensure openness in your finances towards your spouse. Don’t hide the source of your income, the amount, the spending, etc from each other. Openness to each other eliminates shame.
I want to show you another enemy of submission which is anger. In bringing this teaching to a glorious conclusion, I want to admonish that you apply all the wisdom you have gathered from this teaching to make your family a success. There are many things you have read about in this column and other inspired books. If you will only do half of what you have heard and claimed to know, family success will undeniably be yours.
Remember that wisdom is not in the accumulation of
knowledge, but in its application. Receive grace therefore to be diligent,
so that you can enjoy your marriage and family life, in Jesus’ name!
By holding on to anger, you open the door to sin. If you get upset about the
way your spouse does certain things at certain times, rather than exploding
and speaking cruel words which can cause irreparable damage, control your
emotions and take a walk or go to the prayer closet, until your anger
simmers down. It is like a kettle of boiling water. As long as the fire is
on, the water boils hotter. To cool the water, you would need to turn off
the source of heat, place the kettle on a cool surface and give it time to
cool down. Within a few hours, that formerly boiling water can be taken
straight from a glass. Anger is just like that. The Word of God says, for
the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God (James 1:20).We all
get angry at one time or the other, but the difference between this and the
work of the flesh is sin. The Word of God says, be ye angry, and sin not:
let not the sun go down upon your wrath (Ephesians 4:26). But I like the way
The Living Bible puts it: If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your
grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry get over it quickly;
For when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil (Ephesians
4:26-27).
Some people try to suppress anger. They get angry, swallow it; pretend
everything is all right and plaster a smile on their faces. They are like
hot bottles of Coca-Cola, shaken. Once the lid is opened the hot liquid
rushes out in torrents. Bottling up anger is risky, and an explosion is only
a matter of time. You can let off steam by discussing the issue at an
appropriate time, or in a situation where you cannot speak out immediately,
you can run into your prayer closet, tell God exactly how you feel, and let
Him speak peace to you. Anger is a killer. Simeon and Levi who slew the men
of Shechem because of their uncontrollable anger got a horrible sentence:
the Word of God says, Simeon and Levi are brethren... Cursed be their anger,
for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in
Jacob, and scatter them in Israel (Genesis 49:5, 7).
Anger must be dealt with, if you want to avoid the shame that division and
scattering bring to marriages and families; you must not let anger find its
way to your family. Anger puts asunder faster than fornication. One may not
kill physically, yet by angry words or even silence, you can kill a person’s
spirit! Matthew 5:22 puts it this way: …I say unto you, That whosoever is
angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment...
However, the secret of living a life void of complaints
is thanksgiving and appreciation. Even when you have a genuine reason to do
so, complaining when angry is not the right way of making a case.
Complaining displeases God. He hates it! My husband says, every complaint
complicates issues for you. Complaints and criticisms were what got the
natural Israel into a lot of trouble in the wilderness. Their case was
genuine — the Red Sea ahead, the host of Egypt behind; but they chose the
wrong medium of getting God to intervene.
When they got to the brink of the Promised Land, they again accepted the
evil report of the 10 spies and murmured again. This time, God did not spare
them (Numbers. 14:26-39). Your marriage and family will be more pleasant and
peaceful without complaints and wicked criticisms. There’s nothing wrong
with corrective criticisms, it helps balance us up. For instance, if your
wife wears a dress that you think does not complement her and she asks, “How
do I look?” expecting wonderful comments, and you say, “Well, I think you’ll
look better in something else.” That’s criticism, but from a positive angle.
A critic is one who points out faults. No one should assume the role of a critic, but we need to be available to point out what is not right about our spouses, with a view to rendering help and effecting positive changes. There are many ways to do this without becoming a faultfinder or a perfectionist. The Word of God says, There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health (Proverbs 12:18).
Friend, you require grace that only God can give in other
to be able to control your anger. This grace is made available to you as you
accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour by saying this prayer: Lord
Jesus Christ, I come to You today, I am a sinner. I cannot help myself.
Forgive me my sins, cleanse me with Your blood. Deliver me from sin and
Satan to serve the living God. I believe You died for me and on the third
day, You rose that I might be justified. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour.
Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into your kingdom.
Congratulation! It is your season of laughter!
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